How One Change In My Perspective Helped Me Transform My Life!
I'm sure I'm not the only person who has found themselves 'stuck' in an area of their life. A lot of the time I find myself trapped by self-imposed fears. Paralysed from taking action, sandwiched between "Fear of Success" and "Fear of Failure". Actually, fear of change... full-stop!
When I'm in this mindset I find myself stuck in a narrow 'safe zone' between fear of success and fear of failure. The responsibility of 'choosing' to commit to a new course of action seems too much of a risk, and just too hard.
Have you experienced the feeling I'm describing? If you have you'll know it's not a pleasant way to live. Having the opportunity to choose to act to bring about a change in our lives feels like a burden and a responsibility, not the gift it actually is. Choosing to change feels like something we HAVE to do or SHOULD do, not something we GET to do.
Life Changing Experience
From 2011-2013 I had an experience that totally changed my perspective on whether choice was a burden or a gift. I was chronically ill, physically disabled and sometimes unable to walk, throughout this two and a half year period. At the same time I was also battling Endometriosis which meant trying to function while battling debilitating pain. (For the benefit of anyone who's fortunate enough not to have experienced Endometriosis it's like trying to lead your normal life, while in the late stages of labour).
During this time I had many choices taken from me due to all the things my body could no longer do e.g. sometimes my legs didn't work for a few days and so I couldn't walk, I had convulsions out of the blue and basically no control over my sick body which required three naps a day to get through to bedtime.
You get the idea. I was just living in survival mode in every area of my life.
The Bizarre 'Upside' Of Being So Sick
I was surprised during this time to discover that being so sick was bizarrely liberating as it took away my self-imposed pressure to succeed (yes, you're right, I have a horrible tendency towards perfectionism).
When my body was so sick my expectations for myself and of what I should achieve each day dropped. This is something I noticed when we were dealing with the 2010/2011 Christchurch earthquakes too. When we had no water, no power, no sewerage I was much kinder to myself and felt quite free and proud of what I did manage to cope with and achieve. (Yes, there is a lesson there...Let's not wait for a natural disaster or debilitating illness to be kind to ourselves!)
Being Robbed of Many of My Choices - Ignited a Deeper Spark of Determination
Being so physically disabled robbed me of many of my choices, but I found this ignited a deeper spark towards the things I really DID want to achieve e.g. the passion for my business is to help women look great and feel confident...what if I couldn't do that anymore? What if I couldn't choose to do that anymore?
Having the threat of the choice being taken away from me took away the fear of success and failure. I began to appreciate what a gift it is to GET to choose.
What I Learnt
The good news is ... I got better! I was totally blessed to get my health back at the end of 2013, and recover completely from all my disabilities and the endometriosis. (Thanks to all my friends from The Revival Fellowship who prayed for me & Deidere from DP Herbals). Now I feel amazing.
Once I got well I found my entire perspective on choice had changed. I didn't take the ability to choose and to have choices for granted any more! 'You don't know what you've got until you lose it' is so true.
Now I realised... I GET to choose! What a privilege!
Yes I might not succeed, but that's ok. I GET the OPPORTUNITY to TRY!
This whole experience has help me so much in my battle with perfectionism and fear of failure that I wanted to share it with you.
I started making some changes (previously the word 'change' used to send shivers down my spine). My thoughts progressed something like this...
- I've got a healthy body back...I get to choose to use it
- I get to choose to...GET FIT
- I get to choose to...MOVE MY BODY & EXERCISE
As my coordination came back I decided I wanted to run again. I joined Summer Starter training because I wanted to run 4km. You can imagine how grateful and proud I felt when I eventually reached that goal thanks to Extra Mile Runners (starting with week 1: run 30 seconds, walk 4&1/2 minutes five times, three days a week. Extra Mile Runners taught me Baby Steps!) I joined Les Mills gym again & discovered how much I love BodyBalance.
Achieving this goal increased my confidence to try for other changes,
- I get to grow my business
- I get to organise inspiring events for women
Even in areas I really struggled with...
- I get to Declutter & Organise my paperwork (Thanks Kikki-K!)
You, of course, will have your own areas of your life that you have always wanted to transform, and they will be different for every person.
Be Inspired to Transform Your Life
Here's what I learned...
- I GET to...go for my goals
- I GET to...change old bad habits
- I GET to...choose new habits that I always wanted to develop
- I CAN CHANGE!
- I GET TO CHOOSE to TRANSFORM MY LIFE!
and GUESS WHAT...YOU GET TO CHOOSE TOO!
Getting to Choose is a privilege, such a privilege...What will YOU CHOOSE?
